Bishies Wild on Hellsing House
by warpedcolumbia
Summary: oh man...so...random...just...read it.


*Disclaimer* Hellsing isn't Rachel's. Nor is anything else in this story. (except for my friends. i pwn them.) So poof. Rachel sets many squirrels on your head.  
  
Sunny day at the Hellsing House...  
  
Integra: Walter, whatever happened to those pants I gave to you for your birthday last year?  
  
Walter: Huh?  
  
Integra: The purple ones?  
  
Walter: Oh, uh...  
  
(Alucard enters, with Rachel's friend Kitsy clinging to his leg.)  
  
Integra: Who is THAT?!  
  
Alucard: I don't know, Master. I woke up this morning and she was just...looking at me.  
  
Kitsy: Pigey pigey pigey...potato?  
  
Integra and Walter: O_O  
  
(Kitsy starts doing the chicken dance)  
  
Alucard: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!  
  
Integra: It looks....so.....fun......(does chicken dance)  
  
Walter: Cannot....resist....the chickeny goodness......(does chicken dance)  
  
Alucard: WHATS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?! HAVE YOU NO DECENCY?!  
  
Kitsy: I WUB YOU!!!  
  
Alucard: Ah, screw it. (does chicken dance)  
  
(Seras enters)  
  
Seras: O_O  
  
(Seras leaves)  
  
(Sephiroth enters, waving Masimune around. Yummy.)  
  
Sephy: What.....the.....hell......  
  
(Rachel's friend Derek enters)  
  
Derek: Oh look, it's Sephiroth. It's not weird that I'm in an anime talking to a video game character. It's not weird at all.  
  
Sephy: You're weird looking.  
  
Derek: I'm a sexy bishie.  
  
Sephy: No way, I am SO bishier then you. Final Fantasy Fan girls tell me so.  
  
Derek: I'M THE BISHIEST!!  
  
Sephy: NO WAY!!!  
  
Derek: MEEEE!!!  
  
Kitsy: (notices Sephy) SEPHY-SAMA!!!!  
  
Sephy: AGGGGGH!!!! (runs away)  
  
Kitsy: NOOO!!! I LOVE YOU!!!! (chases)  
  
Derek: I'm still bishier.  
  
(Cloud enters, looking all.....yay.)  
  
Cloud: Where did Sephiroth go? Need......yaoi.......  
  
Derek: Ewww...you're gay...  
  
Cloud: Hey, lots of girls moan for me, I don't see that happening for you, huh?  
  
Derek: o_O  
  
Cloud: (noticing the dancing Integra, Walter, and Alucard) OOOOO...  
  
Derek: o_O  
  
Cloud: (joins in the dancing)  
  
Derek: What the hell is going on, anyway?  
  
(Sephy runs in, being chased by Kitsy)  
  
Sephy: WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN MEEE?!  
  
Kitsy: (notices Cloud) OOOOO!!!! CLOUD!!!! HUG ME!!!!  
  
Cloud: (breaking out of trance) YEAAAAAUGH!!!! (runs)  
  
Kitsy: MOOFLE! (chases)  
  
Derek: Why doesn't anybody chase me? *sniffle*  
  
(Inuyasha and Fluffy enter, arguing about stuff. Mmmm. Fluffy.)  
  
Inuyasha: NO WAY! I am SO sexier then you!!!  
  
Fluffy: ARE YOU FLUFFY?! DON'T THINK SO!!  
  
Derek: Um...um....um.....I'M BISHIER THAN ANY OF YOU LOSERS! HAHAHA! (runs around randomly)  
  
(Cloud enters, shirtless. Mmmm. Kitsy follows, eating Cloud's shirt.)  
  
Kitsy: YAY!! (notices Inuyasha and Fluffy) OH MY GOD!!! MUST HUG!!! COME HERE!!!  
  
Cloud: RUN FOR YOUR LIIIVES!!!  
  
(Inuyasha and Fluffy run off. Kitsy runs after them, screaming.)  
  
Derek: Grrrr. Grrrrr.  
  
(Suddenly, Rachel appears. Thats MEE!)  
  
Rachel: Derek? Derek?! WHAT THE HELL?!  
  
Derek: *sniffle*  
  
Rachel: What's the matter?  
  
Derek: I'm not a bishie!!  
  
Rachel: Yes you are! You're the bishiest!!  
  
Derek: YAY!!  
  
(Kitsy enters. Sephy, Cloud, Inuyasha, and Fluffy all follow, exhausted. Alucard, Integra, and Walter are still doing the chicken dance.)  
  
Rachel: HOOYAH! (Rachel uses her magical magical powers to turn all the peoples into chibis. Except for Derek. Cuz he's just that special.)  
  
Chibi Integra: (in high pitched little chibi voice. LMAO!! D) WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!  
  
(Rachel pokes Chibi Integra, and feeds her pocky)  
  
Chibi Alucard: (slowly rocking back and forth) I'm a big bad dog, I'm a big bad dog...  
  
Chibi Walter: Holy Aunt Jemima!!! I'm ITTY BITTY!!!  
  
Chibi Sephy (with little chibi masimune): I'LL KIIILL YOU ALL!!!! (stabs cloud. lots of blood. sephy cries.)  
  
(Chibi Inuyasha and Chibi Fluffy frolic away)  
  
Chibi Kitsy: OH MY GOD!!! I'M A KITSUNE-YOUKAI!!! FINALLY!!! (steals Chibi Integra's pocky. Yay.)  
  
Rachel: That was fun.  
  
**ALL THE BISHIES IMPLODE**  
  
Derek: NOW I'M REAAAAALLY THE BISHIEST!!!  
  
Rachel: I'm glad you're happy.  
  
Kitsy: MOOFLES!!  
  
The End. Thank God. 


End file.
